Sunday, April 30, 2006

It’s difficult to know what to say after such a long silence. I can’t really catch you up on all that has passed. Life has barreled on, the ups and the downs not subsiding. At one point I knew I didn’t want my journal to read like a continuous obituary – so I stopped writing. I will tell you we have had at least one funeral per month since my last post. All the deaths have been a great loss to many, although most were not a great surprise. I suppose at my age, this is not unusual. One more aunt hangs in the balance between life and death tonight, and if she leaves us in May she will continue the pattern.

I don’t mean to sound morose really. Death is a completely natural part of life. The people we have lost have all lived long, full and honorable lives. They were sure of their future in heaven and were ready to go. We just really didn’t expect them all to go at once.

The most recent funeral took place in Iowa. My husband’s grandmother was 90 years old. She had buried her parents, her husband, all of her 6 siblings and 2 of her 3 children, her only son just this last November in Arkansas. Every time she’d say goodbye, whether by phone or in person, she’d assure us she’d see us again soon, “If I’m not here the next time you come by, I’ll see you when you get to heaven.” She died on her way to my mother-in-law’s car. She had a bad case of indigestion and was off to see the doctor. She was completely healthy, remarkably so for a woman her age. She gasped a little, according to her daughter, and was gone before she hit the ground. She was caught up in a moment.

Perhaps she was like a pregnant woman who didn’t recognize the labor pains.

She, like my grandfather, looked unbelievably beautiful in her coffin. She had (get this) 12 grandchildren, 30-something great grandchildren and nearly 10 great-great grandchildren. I think every one of them was there. Her funeral was held on Good Friday. We celebrated Easter in Iowa, and what an incredible celebration it was.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support. The pillars of my world have been exiting at a frightening pace. They are each of them the best of the best. They are irreplaceable.

Sometimes I wonder if this is what the rapture looks like. I am, to date, left behind.


Blogger Wanderer said...

I have regularly stopped by here and seen the post that sat there from February with the blue highlighted words "multiple sclerosis" standing out. As a fan of the emotion and clarity you bring across in your writing, I was always looking to see what you would share next. Odd, then, that this time I came to your blog specifically with the intention of seeing those two words, and found instead that you had broken your silence.

The reason I specifically came looking for those words was because I remembered there had been a beautiful story associated, and wanted to read that over, as those words have new meaning to me. They have now been attached to my wife.

I read your story again today, and once more it brought a smile. I will say again that I think you have done Kathy a wonderful service with that post.

7:38 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

Wanderer - I always look forward to hearing from you and catching up with your life and your beautiful family. I am so sorry to hear of your wife's illness. I will be praying for healing and will stop by your place to catch up.

8:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your name, Kim, popped up on my blog this morning and it was something like when you run one finger over another and feel that little prick sensation that tells you there is a tiny splinter stuck in the skin. Ouch. Not that kind of ouch. The recognition part.

Kim was the recognition part. LOL.

It is easier to forget those we don't see. I will have to admit I hadn't missed you. I just forgot your name. So all of that flooded back at the sight of, "Kim."

I remembered that Kim I used to see on a regular basis. Then I read this post and understood that life goes on everywhere all the time.

Sorry to learn of all the funerals but then it sounds like everyone was sort of eager to get to where they were going.

I need you to go to my other place; and have a look. I just work by butt off on that place and wondered what you might think.

Thanks again.

3:35 AM  
Blogger Rulan said...

Hi Kim. Sorry to here of so many funerals. Praying for you.

10:28 AM  
Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant said...

Grandma sounds like a saint. The Lord must have something big coming and He wants all His best gathered to His side.

Welcome back!

12:05 AM  
Blogger beth wacome keck said...

been thinking on this subject more than a lot these days, as well - it can not help but affect your (and all of our) world(s) ...

I am so glad you are writing again ...

7:58 AM  
Blogger sbg said...

Hi Kim,

Wow, it's been a season, hasn't it....? I have missed you, and missed your blog, even though I don't have much time for reading blogs lately and haven't written in mine since the earliest days of my pregnancy, and now the baby is 5 1/2 months old! Kind of hypocritical, I guess.

When do you come to Europe? Maybe we can collide....??

Susan B. G.

4:26 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

Hi everyone. Thanks for chiming in. I always look forward to hearing from you all.

Beth, I saw that Mark Palmer passed away in March. I'm so sorry.

Suebee, I don't think I'm going to make it to Europe. (Can you believe that I'm sending my 12 year old to Europe without me?) I can't stay with her or fly over with her as she will be cloistered away with the team and security is crazy tight. I'd have to fly over separately and stay somewhere nearby. The only time I'd get to see her is when she plays. I haven't totally given up on the idea, but it's looking less possible.

Talk to you all soon, I hope.

5:22 PM  
Blogger Patti Doughty said...

Kim, I'm so sorry it's been a tough few months. I've missed you and your insightful writing.

When my grandmother died, people would ask me how old she was. It made my angry. It wasn't that I didn't think she had lived a long, good life, just that she could have lived to 650 and it still would have hurt just as badly to lose her.

When we haven't experienced a specific loss, sometimes it's awkward to try and console others. We really can say dumb things without meaning in our attempts to encourage and support.

I'll shut up now. I'm glad you're back.


8:49 PM  
Blogger weregoinup said...

Hi Kim,

I am new to your blog. I found the link on Patti's blog and stopped by to read. I am touched by your writing and I am sorry to hear about your loss. I will lift you up in prayer.

I am so excited to find fellow Christians who are writing and ministering to others through the internet. Bless you!

1:00 PM  

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