Tuesday, April 13, 2004

Thank you all for your lovely comments and birthday wishes. It's been a very busy couple of weeks around here.

My sister visited for a whirlwind weekend. It was much too short, but oh-so-wonderful. Then came the birthdays, first mine then my husband's (!!). Then on to Easter --- it's never dull.

I am behind on my blog visits and have much to ponder. I will say that 40 was a highly transitional year for me. I knew it would be. In 2003 I entered the 40s, my son became a teen, and my daughter entered the double digits (a whopping 10). I am not wealthy or famous. I haven't written the great American novel. I haven't even finished my master's degree. I've still never gone to Europe. I (we) struggle to afford my 1600 square foot attached home. It isn't really how I expected it to be by 40.

On the other hand, I have seen the big trees (three times), I've driven through Napa valley with a car full of people I love and stared up in wonder at the marvel of the Redwood forest. I've smelled the Sweet Peas in bloom all over the magnificent cliffs of Mendocino. I watch dolphins play in the ocean next to my son and daughter surfing. The swallows not only come back but make a home in the very eaves of my house. I have two beautiful, talented kids who continue to amaze me every day and a nearly 17 year old marriage that defies gravity.....We may not have visited Europe or Hawaii, but we manage to visit Iowa or New York almost every year. I've gone to the Superbowl (to see my son and husband!!) (jr all american, by the way...), I've been to Danceteria, Studio 54, Malibu -- yes, I was young during Disco -- just shoot me -- I crashed an exclusive party in the Hamptons. I've gone camping (!!) and learned to identify multiple types of trees and bugs (gasp), I know what poison oak looks like, I've gone cross country skiing on a golf course in Massachusetts (it isn't much, but...). I've learned what it means to ollie, barrel and grind. I've seen a bear (!!) out of captivity and yelled loud enough to make him go away!! I've ridden in the back of a pick up truck with many cows following (even scarier than the bear), I've seen big giant sows suckling dozens of tiny piglets, I've had baby lambs suck my fingers and fed clover to ponies through wire fences. I've been to the top of the Empire State Building more than once, I've been inside the Statue of Liberty, I visited Ellis Island in the rain while my children ran the length of the walls laughing gleefully, I've stood high above Cayuga's waters and seen the world for miles around. I've given birth naturally and by c-section -- miraculous both times. I've experienced the power of the Holy Spirit. I've received forgiveness and have been freed to forgive -- also miraculous.

Okay, I'll shut up. I could go on and on. Suffice it to say that it isn't what I expected, but it isn't all that bad. Even so, I'm glad to put the 40th year behind me. I'm 41 now. 40-something. Older. Wiser. I'm finished with transitioning. I'm ready for the being. Bring it on.