This has been a tumultuous time at the Johnson house. I don't think we've slowed down since June. It is a time of great blessing, but also a time of great challenge. It's all a big blur. We haven't really had time to move into the new house, so it still seems like it isn't ours. It's a storage unit in which our boxes have been set. It still seems like a motel room on our way to some other place. Our dog, already disoriented from the effects of age, is now completely confused. He gets lost in our oversized yard, confused by the many unfamiliar smells. He doesn't see or hear quite as well as he used to, so he often wanders around looking completely lost. He can't hear me calling to him, so sometimes I have to go out to him and lead him into the door. I kind of relate to him. The world is spinning around me so quickly, I can't seem to get my bearings. I'm disoriented. I need someone to take me by the hand and lead me to my home.

When I was 7, my family moved to Long Island from Queens. I was the oldest of 3 children, the only school aged sibling. We moved on a Saturday and I was in the classroom on Monday. I'm sure they went over the whole bus thing with me, but when that bus driver booted me off the bus, assuring me that this was the right stop, I stood for what seemed like hours trying to find something that looked familiar. I was completely lost. I remember vividly the view from that corner. If I was an artist, I could render a complete and perfect photographic image of the 360 degrees that surrounded me from that spot. I stood there paralyzed. Eventually my mother peaked out our new front door to see me frozen to the corner. My new home was about 20 feet from the spot where the bus delivered me. She was genuinely surprised by my disorientation. My mother was busy with my sister, 4, and my baby brother. Her 7 year old seemed so old and independent. I was capable, or at least compared to the babies I was. I tried so hard to meet that expectation. I think I'm still working on it.

Well anyway, that's where I am today. Back on that corner. Like a little kid lost. I'm trying hard to stand still so someone will find me and show me the way home. I know that we just got a great new home, but I can't quite remember which one it is.

++Hey Lord, I know it isn't going to slow down for at least another 2 weeks. I can't really move from this spot. Peak out the front door and give me a wave, will You?