Okay. Inappropriate Disclosure about to happen here.

I need help. My shower is filthy and I can't seem to get it clean. Not really.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I suck at housework. This is a complete irony, because I really prefer clean. My husband (the ex marine) is awesome at cleaning. He's like a white tornado. Sometimes he'll send me off on an errand to get me out of the way. When I return the visible parts of the house are completely done: the kitchen, the living room, family room. He even cleans the floor. (I'm not bragging (well, maybe a little)-- I'm truly grateful to have him around, for a thousand other reasons, too.) Granted, he has his bad habits, too, but I think my bad habits in this arena out number his about 3 to 1.

I've got my good points. I'm great at laundry, for example. And I love to garden. I'm a halfway decent cook. But I dread cleaning the house. Like I said before -- it's not that I don't appreciate a clean house. I'm even embarrassed when my house isn't clean. I just can't seem to get the job done efficiently. I could spend hours and still it isn't done. My husband gets the work done in less than half the time, with a way better end product. He's not the only one. I have many friends (including my own mother) who are good at this as well. I have picked their brains multiple times. I figure this shouldn't be so hard. There must be some trick, some miracle product, some underlying knowledge that they have access to that I must uncover. I mean, come on, it's cleaning. What the heck is the problem here?

The Bathroom is my greatest enemy.

I have the toilet cleaning part down. I do this often, since there are 2 men in my house. It scares me to use the toilet if I don't stay on top of this chore. (Despite my confidence regarding this fixture, my husband has dismantled the toilet on more than one occasion to get it "really clean" -- shocking me by how much grime can get into the place were the bolts hold the toilet seat on...I'm really better off not knowing...).

But the tub/showers are the absolute bane of my existence. (I know, I know -- war, hunger, cellulite -- yet the shower is the bane of my existence? Sorry, just telling it like it is...) I spend more than 2 hours scrubbing these stupid things so they will sparkle (and they never really do, I have to tell you), and within one day's wear and tear (there are only 4 of us, plus one tortoise and one dog bathed weekly (or bi-weekly, or even monthly if we're really busy--yikes) they're grimy again. And my arms and shoulders are in pain from all the scrubbing. It's a battle I cannot win.

One time, I confess, about 10 years ago, I hired a woman to come and just clean the shower. I paid her $20. She used only what I had in the house, and was finished in under 1/2 hour. It was spotless and shining. I was flabbergasted. "How did you do this?" I asked her, in awe. She smiled and said in Spanish, "I used green scrubby and lemon oil." "But I've tried that option. It didn't work for me." "Oh, Mija," she said consoling me, "White people can't clean." I wanted to believe her, but I had evidence to the contrary. White people could clean -- just not THIS one.

You may wonder why I don't just let her come and clean my bathrooms. Well, for one thing, the $20 deal was a one time offer just for the shower. Once she got a good look at how it would be, her going rate went up to $100 for the 2 bathrooms. I couldn't really afford that luxury then. I'm sure the rate's gone up in 10 years, but I am considering this option. Now that I'm back to work full time, I think it may be worth it...But there is still a part of me that wants to overcome this challenge. My Fiberglas Mt. Everest.

Now the facts. I have 2 bathrooms -- one with a shower/tub and the other with just a shower. The shower/tub tends to be easier to clean than the shower only. Both are made of that nasty molded Fiberglas, and they are both at least 30 years old. ('well, there's your problem', you may be thinking, 'it needs to be replaced!' I agree, but it's budget prohibitive. I have to live with it as is.) Because it takes me so long to do it, I tend to neglect the shower in the Master bedroom. (since I'm confessing, I'll let it all hang out here...) Avoidance and procrastination aren't helping.

My husband bought me a Scrub Buster for Christmas (on my continued request). He thinks it's a monumental waste of money. I used it this morning. Final analysis -- 90 minutes in the shower and it's only 3/4 done. (In all fairness, I hadn't cleaned the shower in a really long time. Maybe it'll be easier the next time. ) My arms aren't so sore, but it isn't really different than cleaning without it. Bottom line: I can't go on like this. I need all your tips. I am 40 years old, I should be able to clean a shower by now...

SO .... Bring me your best wisdom ladies and gentlemen. I'm all ears.