I've been researching. Not in a graduate-student-going-for-the-doctorate sort of way, but in more of a I-need-answers-now sort of way. Here is what I've come up with.

First of all, Church History: the Kim Johnson condensed version. (Hold on to your seats, my historian friends...) Christianity managed to spread radically after Christ's resurrection for approximately 400 years before there was a "church" per se. (this despite the egregious prosecution of the Christians and the lack of literacy, biblical references and TV evangelists...). The conversion of Constantine really changed the flow of things, as the Evil Empire was now the Christian Empire. A few major adjustments to the way things were done, and viola! The Holy Roman Church. The Holy Western Church.

Now here's a really cool element of historical interest: opening up the church to the plebeians kind of tweaked the established Christian sects, even though they were now way less likely to find themselves in the belly of a lion (or several lions). You see, this change made it easier to be a Christian than not. Everyone was doing it. "As a result, Christians began to feel that standards of Christian conduct were being lowered and that the only way to obey the moral imperatives of Christ was to flee the world (and the church that was in the world, perhaps even of the world) and to follow the full-time profession of Christian discipline as a monk." (MSN Encarta: Christianity)

I have to pause here and remark. This is amazing to me. A new discovery! Once again I am reminded that there is absolutely NOTHING NEW under the sun. (Ecclesiates) This echoes to me thoughts in the blogs, in the church, in me -- Beth Keck referred to this as "the Wheel" -- we are dissatisfied. We are hungry for God. We strive to achieve holiness. These are all good things. All part of the plan. We move on to a new church, we build our own church, we change, we grow -- all a part of the plan. Okay, back to the point ---

This move to the monastic orders began at this point in time (appx 400 a.d.) and spread throughout the "civilized world" of the time (Roman Empire (which was like, everywhere), Egyptian Desert, Greece, Asia). The monastic orders dedicated themselves to prayer, asceticism and service. "They were to become, during the Byzantine and medieval periods, the most powerful single force in the Christianization of nonbelievers, in the renewal of worship and preaching, and (despite the anti-intellectualism that repeatedly asserted itself in their midst) in theology and scholarship. Most Christians today owe their Christianity ultimately to the work of monks." (Encarta, again).

I want to define what the word monastic means to me (finally, after a month of promising Laurie I'd eventually get to it). To me, a monastic life is simply a life called apart. It is a life that defines itself on the basis of a Christian "calling". Although the true Monastic Orders require a physical separation and commitment to the church, I believe we can define our own type of monasticism as a commitment to Christ. I think this commitment must include disciplined worship, prayer and the study of scripture. I think it requires a commitment to service. I do not believe that Christianity should be defined by these constraints. In other words, I believe that not all Christians are called to the same level of commitment to this journey. I believe that sometimes we think they should be -- kind of like the original move to the monastic orders -- the "Committed Christians" felt that the conversion of the Empire to Christianity was lowering the bar ("there goes the neighborhood").

Here is the point that gets to me: No matter what we may think of their motives, the people who created the Monastic Orders did so to "advance the kingdom". The act of separating themselves actually advanced the kingdom! They didn't chase down the non-believers -- they created a better life set apart! ("if you build it they will come....") Historically, the move they made was ordained. Blessed, even.

Wow. I didn't know this. I never really knew the facts. Some would say that this is proof that the Christian walk should be completely cloistered from the real world. I don't see that at all. It shows me that God has and will create a safe haven for every generation. "You have been a shelter, Lord. To every generation, every generation. A sanctuary from the storm. To every generation, to every generation Lord." It also shows me that no matter what motivates you, what drives you, when you choose your path in pursuit of God, He will use you. Ask and it shall be given to you, seek and you shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened." (Matthew 7:7) And it shows me that the church did not position itself as the enemy of the woman. I still don't understand how that came to be, but I know that it wasn't true of Jesus, and now I can say with faith that it wasn't an element of the early church, either. Cultural History has not been good to the woman. But if I had a daughter in these ancient days, I would have given her over to the church to save her from the brutal, brutal world. She would be valued there, educated. (I might be picky about which monastic order I would choose...but that's another topic all together...).

I don't know exactly why it is so important for me to know this, but I am so very glad for this little piece of insight. (I suddenly feel more confident in the rock upon which I am building my house -- I know suddenly that it isn't on as much sand as I had thought)...The church continues to be imperfect. It seems every good thing mankind sets up is subject to mutation over time. But God keeps leading us on. Using us, despite ourselves sometimes.

I've asked a lot of big questions lately. Especially with regard to women in the church and the church's history regarding women. I've asked a lot of fellow Christians who don't want to talk about these things -- and some that will talk about this stuff with me over and over until I'm sure they're bored to death on the subject (thanks for them, Lord). Jesus was never misogynistic. I've gone over the Gospels over and over. He was even good to his Mom. The church, however, has been -- and this troubles me. DaVinci Code pushed me over the edge and caused "Cognitive dissonance" (a topic I'm personally all too familiar with)(if you click on the link, you'll need to scroll down to Sept 17 entry -- sorry). And always, ALWAYS -- when I've exhausted my list of people to ask, when I throw back my head and scream my questions to the heavens -- God shows me the way to the answers. Always. This is the coolest part for me. You see, despite all of the evidence to the contrary -- the church -- the monastic orders -- were actually a refuge for the women of the day. Anyone could escape the world and sign on to serve God. Intellectual women were not turned away. In fact, this was the one place they could count on. Was it imperfect? OF COURSE. Still is. But it was a place they could go to pursue knowledge and personal growth. To a certain extent they were allowed to thrive there. They had a hierarchy and structure, leadership roles and decision making skills -- albeit separate from that of the men (but better than nothing I venture to say.) And this place did not discriminate -- rich, poor, black, white, purple, disabled -- all were welcome here. All were entitled. The cost was commitment.

I imagine that if I managed to escape being burned at the stake or being traded to some old fat guy for a lot of goats and chickens (I hope I'd be worth a lot of livestock at least), I would have found refuge in a place such as these monasteries. I think I could have been happy here, given the alternative options. I'm really glad I only have to imagine it, by the way. I am probably one of the only people I know who is convinced the days are way more palatable now than then. I know the world isn't the greatest place -- I have kids. I have fears. But man oh man I am so glad to live in the USA in 2004. I love my car, my phone, my computer, my job, my medical coverage, my electricity and plumbing, my grocery store, my credit card, my kids, my husband. I'm completely convinced that I live in a better world than my mother did, and especially better than her mother or her mother's mother. And their world was light years better than the world of the early church. The world of the Holy Roman Empire, or the Byzantine Empire, or the Middle Ages -- I'm fascinated by the history, but wouldn't go back there for anything.

How nice of you, Lord, to guide me to the truth. Thank you that you would, with the greatest compassion, take my hand in yours and place it into your very wounds. I'm sorry I doubt you -- but your answers make me stronger. I won't stop asking.

"Then Jesus told him (me), "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." (John 20:29).

Bless you my friends. Believe.