Valentine's Day. Hope you're having a happy one. I am taking a much needed break from an extremely boring project to look at this day from an unusual point of view. I heard someone quote Revelation this morning, warning me not to add or take away anything from the scriptures -- and since that is precisely what I am about to do, I feel a little queasy. (I believe that verse that they were quoting is actually referencing the specific work of Revelation -- but that is a question for a bible scholar (if one (a bible scholar that is) is reading please feel free to comment. Seems to me if you take a scripture out of context you're already taking something away...but I'm no expert...) I'm all about Valentine's Day right now, and this is a story that I've been considering for a long time -- so the book of Revelation is not really where I want to go. Not only do I intend to review a bible story in a not so biblical manner, but I'm also considering a Pagan Roman holiday in the mix -- so if you are offended easily, you should probably log off right now. Really. And if you are offended easily, yet continue to read on, don't say I didn't warn you...

The website I referenced above is a quick summary review of the history of Valentine's Day. Those of you that have visited me before know that I am not one to miss a holiday, no matter what the origin -- and I tend to have a hard time understanding people who turn their nose up at such holidays in an effort to assert their holiness (which is clearly way holier than mine -- especially since I don't really have any that I know of (holiness that is...). I really don't mind that the Holy Roman Empire converted standard Pagan holidays into Christian holidays -- It doesn't offend me at all. I've tried to jump on that bandwagon, I actually climbed up and interviewed its inhabitants. As much as they are passionate about their reasons for not celebrating certain holidays of Pagan origin, I am passionate about my "why not?" You can tell me your thoughts if you want, but you won't change my mind. Saying that the origin of the holiday has relevance and that we dishonor God by celebrating is in my mind akin to saying that anyone observing a "sanctioned" religious holiday is in fact honoring God ("People look at the outside of the person but the Lord looks at the heart..."). I know plenty of people who walk the walk....you get my point.

The theme of love and fertility is not only visited by the Pagans. I have been reading and re-reading the story of Rachel and Leah. This Old Testament tale really speaks to me at many levels. In fact, it means something different to me at 41 than it did at 20. I find it holds incredible relevance for Valentine's Day. First of all, Jacob's infatuation with Rachel is most certainly an erotic sort of love. I've heard people say that Rachel returned Jacob's love, but I do not see evidence of this in the scripture. Maybe she did, maybe not. It doesn't seem relevant to the story, since she wasn't in control of her destiny. She was her father's possession until she was given over to her husband. I would think that maybe Rachel and Jacob hung out together with the sheep, and even after all that time, he was still excited about marrying her. ("so Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her." Gen 29:20) So we know Jacob liked Rachel. (we aren't told that they grew in love together, or that he really liked her point of view -- he like the way she looked. She was a hotty -- it even says so in the bible.) It was probably quite honorable for Jacob to wait all that time for Rachel. He probably could have taken another wife in the mean time (since that was what they did back then). I think he was REALLY HORNY after 7 years of waiting. ("Then Jacob said to Laban, "Give me my wife. My time is completed, and I want to lie with her." Gen 29:21). (Kim translation: I might die if I don't have sex soon...). And his being really horny is what must have lent itself to the next part of the story, because on his wedding night, Jacob didn't notice that the woman he was relieving all that pressure with was NOT RACHEL. I don't care how many veils she had over her head, and how many different ways people have explained this to me -- how did he NOT KNOW it wasn't the woman he desired for the last 7 YEARS!!?? I simply do not have the cultural capacity to understand this. The scripture makes a point of stating how much more desirable Rachel was than Leah. This blunder screams the offensive nasty phrase: "They're all the same in the dark." (-- Men).

Whether Rachel returned Jacob's affection (which most people assure me is true) Leah (and every other woman in a 5 mile radius) most certainly had to know that Jacob was hot for Rachel. After all, he waited 7 years. He didn't take another wife. He worked for free. Rachel had to giggle about this with her sister, Leah. They had to chat. No matter how you slice this, I can't help but say, poor Leah. Did she do everything in her power to make sure that the dirty deed was done? Did she hide her "weak eyes" from Jacob and pray he wouldn't figure it all out too soon? Or did she maybe have a crush on Jacob? Maybe she desired him? How did she feel about snaking her sister's betrothed? Or maybe Rachel could care less? Either way it's not a happy story. There is a haunting song by Rich Mullins (the World as Best as I can Remember it: Jacob and 2 Women") that breaks my heart every time I hear it. He speaks of the whole triangle in that song, but I still come back to Leah. Even God felt sorry for her. "When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he opened her womb..." Gen 29:31) God made up for Leah's short stick by making her fertile, and Rachel, the beloved, was left barren. (ah, finally getting to the point -- love and fertility....).

The story gets even more complicated when the girls start to battle over Jacob -- not for Jacob really, but more like for Jacob's sperm. They wanted the babies. They even threw their servant girls into the mix when they weren't making babies fast enough. In all fairness, in the beginning Leah believed the sons would draw Jacob to her -- but by the 4th son (Judah) she simply rejoiced in the gift of her babies, knowing by now nothing would make Jacob love her. "this time I will praise the Lord" Gen 29:35. She eventually gets sucked into the baby battle with Rachel, and after 7 more kids (Bilhah (Rachel's maidservant) 2, Zilpah (Leah's servant) 2, and Leah, 2 more boys and 1 girl) Rachel finally has a baby boy. Not finished yet, one more baby proves to be the demise of Rachel who dies in childbirth -- the ultimate tragedy. And the injustice remains for Leah and all her boys -- for even in death, Rachel remained the beloved, and her 2 boys were highly favored by their father over all the others.

You may think this too tragic a story for Valentine's Day, but I think it is just right. I see Leah and Rachel in myself every day. I think all women have a little of both. At 20, I wanted to be the Rachel in someone's life. I wanted to be the object of someone's infatuation. I wanted to be desired and beloved. I don't think this changes from culture to culture or generation to generation, although it may look a little different from one scenario to the next. Too many marriages I saw seemed to be a union of Jacob and Leah, a baby factory without much keeping the parents together except those very babies. I didn't want to be "poor Leah" home with the babies while Jacob was out with the boys, dreaming of Rachel. Does anyone sign up for that?

Anyone who is married understands that shortly after we say "I do", our veils are dropped and we realize we barely know the person we married. In many ways we wake up with a stranger. Jacob woke up with Leah, Billy Joel referenced "the Stranger" in his song of the same title. Marriage is tough even for the most devoted couples. Babies are tougher. They transform the most lovely bride into something different. (the word cow comes to mind, but that may just be me...). Men of lesser character don't always make it through this stage. Women can be guilty of the same thing. We are attracted to the Rachel in each other -- the lovely, attractive person with good abs. Rachel is so alluring to us that we don't see Leah. She's in there plain as day, but she has "bad eyes" (or is it a reflection of our own bad eyes...). We are too smitten to see -- "love is blind" they say. So until we "wake up" the morning after, we don't really notice the Leah in our bed. Love is funny that way. Its as if the potion on that dart that Eros or Cupid shot at us has worn away, and now instead of the long, thick eyelashes and the wading pool eyes, we see the dark circles under the eyes, or the bloodshot corners.

With children comes a new challenge. Like Leah, some people do believe the children will draw them closer together -- bind them to their spouse -- but only God can do that. You can have a dozen children with a spouse who doesn't love you, and not a single one of them will make that spouse love you more. Leah eventually learned that the kids were a blessing in themselves, and by the 4th child stopped trying to win Jacob. She recognized the blessing and praised God.

In my life, I couldn't believe how blessed I was by my children. I couldn't have predicted how much I would love them. At 20, I wanted to be someone's Rachel, but at 40, I really appreciate the blessing that was Leah's. I love being a mom. I think it was a great move for God to open her womb when he saw she wasn't loved. I feel a little of the angst of Rachel. I am married to a man who loves me with everything he is. I have never felt less than the apple of his eye -- I am extremely blessed. I have only 2 children -- I still wonder why we didn't have more. My husband is content with 2. I imagine Jacob would have been content with 1. And in this I turn my attention to Jacob -- We know how Jacob felt in all of this -- He was always about Rachel. He loved her. He loved her children. He was distraught by her sorrow. He only wanted her and a life with her. I wonder did Rachel return this devotion? Suddenly, for the first time in all the reading and reviewing of this story, I feel sorry for Jacob. Poor, poor Jacob.

This Valentine's Day, I realize that I am doubly blessed. I have known love and fertility. I have spent almost 17 years with a man who swept me off my feet and never ceased to remind me that I have done the same for him. I have spent the majority of these years neglecting this man, focusing my energy on my lovely children. I have learned a lot from Leah and Rachel, and I am sure I have much to learn still. Leah represents maternal love to me, devotion, long suffering. Rachel represents romantic love, desire, attraction. For many years I believed my Rachel died in childbirth. Lately, she has re-awakened. She's all grown up and sexier than ever. She owes her Jacob some return on his investment...

++Thank you Lord for your incredible goodness toward me. Happy Valentine's Day to You. Thank you for romance. Thank you for the evolution of love in my life. You blow me away.

Jacob and 2 Women (The World as Best as I Remember It) Rich Mullins As Recorded on The World as Best as I Remember It, Volume 1

Jacob, he loved Rachel and Rachel, she loved him
And Leah was just there for dramatic effect
Well it's right there in the Bible, so it must not be a sin
But it sure does seem like an awful dirty trick
And her sky is just a petal pressed in a book of a memory
Of the time he thought he loved her and they kissed
And her friends say, "Ah, he's a devil" But she says, "No, he is a dream"
This is the world as best as I can remember it

Now Jacob got two women and a whole house full of kids
And he schemed his way back to the promised land
And he finds it's one thing to win 'em
And it's another to keep 'em content
When he knows that he is only just one man
And his sky's an empty bottle and when he's drunk the ocean dry
Well he sails off three sheets to some reckless wind
And his friends say, "Ain't it awful" And he says, "No, I think it's fine"
And this is the world as best as I can remember it

Now Rachel's weeping for the children
That she thought she could not bear
And she bears a sorrow that she cannot hide
And she wishes she was with them
But she just looks and they're not there
Seems that love comes for just a moment
And then it passes on by

And her sky is just a bandit
Swinging at the end of a hangman's noose
'Cause he stole the moon and must be made to pay for it
And her friends say, "My, that's tragic" She says, "Especially for the moon"
And this is the world as best as I can remember it
And this is the world as best as I can remember it

Copyright 1991 - Edward Grant, Inc.