I want to pick up where I left off last post, plus I want to send out an added kudo to Birgit who really unearthed some good facts for me on the question of "rapture origin" (see comments on the 10/23 post). (I'm working on the linking thing. Still just a remedial blogger) (go here if you want to read more on the subject("http://www.askelm.com/doctrine/d760201.htm"))

My point in referencing the shaking-spitting-brimstone incident was to illustrate a time when I bought into (or at least allowed it to go on) something that was just not right. I don't think this is unusual. As Christians we have learned to suspend our dis-belief to a certain extent. It is part of our exercise of faith. I experienced some amazing stuff during my time with the Vineyard, and I experienced some really nasty stuff there as well. I think I have run into this in different ways in many different denominations (and non-denominations)...Every church has strengths and every church has weaknesses. When we put our faith in the church, we fall. Period. Worse, we find ourselves defending life choices that are simply not biblical -- because someone somewhere interpreted something and as a group the church has bought into it and made it doctrine. The rapture to me is a myth. A work of fiction. Here are some others: The woman's place is in the home. A woman is not to hold a decision-making position. Women are not to wear pants -- just skirts. Dancing is evil. Make-up is evil. The government is evil. Education is evil -- especially for women. Everyone outside the church has an evil agenda. Disney movies are evil. Obey your pastor -- no matter what. Watch only what he says is okay. Listen only to the music he says is okay. I can go on and on. I'm not just making these up -- I actually know people who live according to these rules. Today. It truly amazes me what people believe. I am actually blindsided by it. Come under the authority of your leaders, (unless the leader is someone we don't like...).

In his work of fiction "Peace like a River", Leif Enger says "Once torched by truth ... a little thing like faith is easy." But face it -- faith can be so easily manipulated. Seeking the truth requires diligence, and vigilance. I have been torched by truth. And I cannot tolerate the alternative. Why is it being universally tolerated in the church? Don't you remember how good the truth is? The good news. God paid the price. GRACE. MERCY. HELLO! is anyone listening?

We the sheep just seem to go with the flow of the communal flock -- wherever it may lead us. When we "give over" our lives to Christ, we seem to turn on the "auto-pilot". We don't want to make choices or question the decisions of our leaders -- we want them to do all the thinking for us. When we disagree with the leaders, we are labeled heretics. If we question them we are told that "satan is the accuser of the brethren" (so of course we are now operating on behalf of Satan) -- thus the questions can be dismissed -- and others learn not to ask. We are told that following Jesus is not comfortable. (as if it's comfortable to question someone who you know is going to accuse you of operating on behalf of Satan...) It requires sacrifice, they say. (Yet Jesus says His yoke is easy and His burden is light. (Matt 11:28-30) Jesus says He requires mercy, not sacrifice. (Matt 9:13)) And we end up places we never intended to go: being spit upon by crazy people who say you smell like brimstone.

I blame Satan for this travesty. Not Satan, really. Fear of Satan. If "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom" (Pr 9:10), then I would think the fear of Satan would be the end of said wisdom. People are afraid of sin -- they are convinced they are called to "holiness" and can by some stretch of the imagination keep their lives "clean". To do so, they stay away from the "sinners" -- and the only way they can know that they are truly safe is to stay within the confines of their church community of choice. It is an amazing thing. I learned something about this recently. It is the epitome of denial. If you stay away from that which may challenge you, you can pretend you are without sin. But you're only fooling yourself. God knows. Really. And no matter how far away you stay from the real people, your sin will find you. To me, this is the truth of the buried talent. The hidden Christians, hiding in the fall out shelter they have created for themselves. Whiling away the hours, waiting for the end times. Wicked servants. We have forgotten who we were called to serve. The Real People. Called to serve them -- not to save them -- not to fix them.

And one last thought on this. (I promise I'll shut up after this.) What is so awful about life? Why are there so many people that can't wait for Jesus to come back? I want to see Jesus face to face -- but am I ready to do that today? NO! I want to be an old, old woman who is surrounded by my great, great grandchildren. I want to make the Smucker's list on my 100th birthday. I haven't seen nearly enough sunrises or sunsets. I want sticky kisses from my kids' kids. I want to cheer them on in their soccer games. I want to visit every beach and collect seashells from all of them. I want to delight in my kids graduations from High School and College and hopefully Graduate School. (Heck, I want to delight at MY graduation from Graduate School.) I want to be there for their weddings and for their children's weddings. I want to walk on a wooded path with my grandchildren and show them how cool spiders can be. I want as many Christmas mornings as I can get -- Easter, Thanksgiving and Halloween, too. (don't burn a cross on my front lawn. I've already got the "heretic" label.) I haven't begun to live. I want to hear "well done oh good and faithful servant" -- and I have too much to do still. And if I found out tomorrow that today is all I have, I will pray fervently to live. Fervently.